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| Sunday, April 15th, 2007 | | 11:22 am |
Bina = recluse
Hi everyone! Due to being pretty darn sick lately, I've been kinda hiding away from everyone, and I miss you all so much! Now that I'm not routinely going into the doctor/hospital for tests, I want to see everyone...will you all forgive me for hiding from you and talk to me again? *healthier hugs!* | | Saturday, April 7th, 2007 | | 8:58 pm |
| | Wednesday, April 4th, 2007 | | 11:18 am |
Hi everyone! I have a friend who just moved down to the San Fran area, and is looking for a more permanent place to stay...do ya'll know anyone? I swear he's not any more psycho than the rest of us... | | Tuesday, January 30th, 2007 | | 11:43 am |
Posted yesterday in my MySpace blog...
So, I'm sitting here at work, with over 2 hours of overtime so far, and I decided to take a MySpace break. I noticed that my sister posted something that basically said "If you like me at least a little bit, leave me a message or a comment or something! Otherwise you HAAAAAATE me!" Normally I just roll my eyes at those things, but...well, it may just be the sleep-deprivation talking, but I realized that *I* like comments and messages and stuff. I like to hear good things about me. In fact, I like to be lavished with attention. My dear blog audience, I think I've finally come to terms with it...I am an attention whore. And not just your everyday, run-of-the-mill whore dabbling in the attention field...no...I am a full-fledged attention whore. I don't just like attention, I need it to LIVE. Because I am addicted. I *heart* attention. But how can you recover from being an attention whore? I mean, "Attention Whores Anonymous" wouldn't really work for the attention-soliciting kind. It would have to be more like "Attention Whores RIGHT HERE, BITCHES!!!" Hmmm...that actually sounds like a fabulous idea. In fact, I may even make myself a membership card. It would be awfully funny, and being funny gets me ATTENTION! Whee! Hee. I think I need to finish up here at work and stop typing random, attention-seeking nonsense. BUT I NEED VALIDATION! LOOOOOOOVE MEEEEE!!!!!!!!! Yay caffeine. | | Saturday, December 2nd, 2006 | | 6:32 pm |
| | Tuesday, October 24th, 2006 | | 3:07 am |
| | Wednesday, October 18th, 2006 | | 12:54 pm |
Hullo LJ people. I never really post on here anymore, so...yeah. Hi there. I've been hugely depressed lately. That's about it. Whee. | | Tuesday, August 29th, 2006 | | 12:48 am |
No one ever replies to these things, but...meh.
I just thought this was interesting. Enough so I'd actually post on my LJ: Random LJ quiz. Slightly narcissitic. Reply to this anonymously with a random thought about me, question for me, or both. Anonymous confessions welcome. No lies or fakes. Steal this from me and I'll reply, too. Do not reveal where you stole this from, as all must remain anonymous. Current Mood:  sleepy | | Monday, April 24th, 2006 | | 12:18 am |
Sometimes passive-aggressiveness in friends disappoints me. I'm the queen of passive-aggressiveness, and I'm willing to give lessons. Until my friends have taken my lessons, they might have better luck with balls-out bitchiness. Current Mood:  amusedCurrent Music: The Simpsons Season Six, baby! | | Wednesday, April 19th, 2006 | | 11:55 pm |
In case anyone was wondering...
...I really don't post to my LJ anymore. I kinda got sick of feeling guilty for posting trivial stuff, or that I was wasting people's time, or that I really didn't feel like looking up how to do a LJ cut again. So, if anyone actually wants to read my daily trivial updates, they're on my MySpace blog. Most of it's friends-only, so I may need to add you first, but feel free to subscribe to my trivial-ness. Current Mood:  tired | | Wednesday, March 15th, 2006 | | 3:15 pm |
I got a job!
Yay! *dance-a-dance-a-dance!* Current Mood:  ecstatic | | Thursday, March 2nd, 2006 | | 11:34 pm |
Moving back to Seattle?
I'm probably moving back to Seattle around the end of this month! It turns out that I can take my last class at a community college, which will be oodles cheaper and easier than staying out here. Woo. I just need to make sure everything's going to work out, financially-wise, and then I'm putting in my 30 days notice for my apartment! Woo! Current Mood:  hopeful | | 12:02 am |
| | Monday, February 27th, 2006 | | 6:30 pm |
I never really write in my LJ anymore (for some reason, I've been posting my blogs on MySpace), but this was a neat thing that I read last night when I couldn't sleep, and I just want to share it with a little more of the world...from www.craigslist.com Rant: Ode to the Nice girl ---------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- Reply to: anon-114087824@craigslist.org Date: Sun Nov 27 18:18:35 2005 Ode to the Nice Girls This rant was written because a nice girl finally snapped. I've read the tribute to the nice guys; this is my response. This is my tribute to the nice girls. To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong. This is for the girls who don't give it up on the first date, who don't want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they've heard a thousand times. This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and that the guys they're interested in aren't either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe... maybe this time he'll have understood. This is an homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention. This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and fuck up the guys in their lives without saying a word. This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds." This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it. This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it's an experience that they don't want to miss out on. For the girls who have sought a night with friends and been greeted by a night of catcalling, rude comments and explicit invitations that they'd rather not have experienced. This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting guy friend or a comatose crush, who have received a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn't care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed. This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl in a skirt. This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend. This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won't because it's easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he's with to be a random hookup. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship: it was that he didn't want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep. This is for the "I really like you, so let's still be friends" comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you've received from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a pillow and your teddy bear. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisified with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don't think that they deserve more, because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys. This is what I don't understand. Men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and don't appreciate them and don't want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mindgames, that girls love to keep them hanging. Yet, men, I ask you: were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call... and if you were to receive a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them of the "stalker chick" you'd met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this "nice girl" who you just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you're not looking for a nice girl. You're not looking for someone genuinely interested in your intermural basketball game, or your anatomy midterm grade, or that argument you keep having with your father; you're looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it. So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the low cut shirt or the too tight miniskirt won't answer your catcalls, sometimes you're looking at a nice girl in whore's clothing - - we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we're all thinking the same thing: "This isn't me. Tomorrow morning, I'll be wearing a teeshirt and flannel shorts, I'll have slept alone and I'll be making my hungover best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me." You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. You don't want the nice girl.. so don't say you're looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we're willing to extend - - but in return, we're looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express. Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they're running they're chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets... the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congradulatory hug (and yes, if she's a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won't matter), hoping against hope that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones that you want at the end of that silly race. So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting; however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat (because what's a concession stand at a race without some chocolate?) Sometimes the nice girl gets sick of waiting | | Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006 | | 7:00 am |
What the SHIT?
So, according to fucking Safari, Spring Quarter I will not only be paying a $95 charge for the stupid Rec Building that I've never even set foot in, but I'll also be paying $39 for the old SUB as well... What the fuck? All this for the ONE FUCKING 5 CREDIT CLASS I NEED TO GRADUATE. So, as of right now, this is my schedule: Japanese 153 Beginning Yoga Photography I Jewelry/Metals I Choir I had to freakin' SCOUR the class schedule just to find semi-interesting classes to put my credit numbers high enough for financial aid. These classes seem like fun, but is it just me, or does this seem like a HUGE waste of money? I'm going to talk to financial aid to see exactly how much it would cost me to just take Japanese, and then talk to my Japanese teacher to see if he'd be willing to let me do some kind of distance learning kinda thing for the class (since I don't think I could still live in my apartment while only taking 5 credits). Ugh. ETA: Fuck it. I just looked into financial aid, and I'd basically be screwing myself over if I didn't take a full load, so...whee. I'm taking completely pointless classes next quarter. At least I'll have fun... Current Mood:  irritated | | Tuesday, February 14th, 2006 | | 1:43 am |
Valentine's Day...Copied and pasted from my MySpace blog...
It's funny...I was perfectly fine with Valentine's Day coming up. Was being the imperative word, I guess. Seriously - Valentine's Day was no big deal. "Stupid Hallmark holiday! I couldn't care less!" I've been having a great time lately, going on super fun date-like-things, and just didn't care. Until the clock hit 12:00am, February 14th. I was driving home (by myself) from one of the above super fun date-like-things, and this weird wave of...depression...hit. Totally unexpected. I don't understand it. It's not like I was expecting anything for Valentine's Day. I can't stand the whole "If you really really like me you'll spend your hard earned money on something that I really don't want/need, like a stuffed dinosaur holding a heart, or a box of chocolates that I'm perfectly capable of buying for myself..." But, thanks to all the blatant and subliminal advertising, I'm actually a little depressed that I'm no one's Valentine. How dumb is that? Current Mood:  confused | | Monday, January 30th, 2006 | | 5:51 pm |
| | 12:53 am |
It's Erin's Biiiiiiiirthdaaaaaaaay! Whee! Happy Birthday Erin! I'll talk to you later today! Whee! :)! | | Saturday, January 21st, 2006 | | 1:27 am |
Ack! I've been tagged! 5 Guilty Pleasures. The first player of this game starts with the topic of "5 Guilty Pleasures" and people who get tagged need to write an LJ entry about 5 Guilty Pleasures as well as state this rule clearly. In the end you need to choose 5 people to be tagged and list their names. 1. Really good sushi 2. Vanilla lattes 3. Cartoon Network 4. Strawberri Stoli 5. Waaaay too much internet surfing I'm tagging: Whoever wants to do this...I always feel guilty tagging people... | | Thursday, January 5th, 2006 | | 12:37 am |
The long week begins...
Whee! I'm still at the HUT! And it's 12:37am! I wanted to get the Wallflowers program mostly done tonight, since I really don't have any time tomorrow. Unfortunately, that means that I'm still here, when I have class in...about 6 hours. And I still need to drive home. Last night I just stayed up, since I didn't get home until about 1:30am, and I had class at 8am. It actually worked out pretty well, and I got about an hour long nap this afternoon before I had to drive back over to Seattle. Rehearsal was great and fun, and I managed to study a little bit for my Japanese quiz tomorrow (who has a quiz the second day of classes? My Japanese teacher! Whee!). So, now I'm just taking a break before I gather everything up and head home. I figure that I can probably study my Japanese vocab while I'm driving home (Just out loud! No writing, I swear!), and then get about 3 hours of sleep before I have to get up again. So, this is what I'm looking at: 1am - Head home 3am - Get home, get ready for bed 4am - Probably fall asleep 7am - Wake up 8am - Anatomical Kinesiology Class 9am - Japanese (quiz!) 10am - Anatomical Kinesiology Lab 12pm - Finally go pick up my books? 1pm - Acting: Voice Class 3pm - Go make photocopies of the Wallflowers program 4pm - Leave for Seattle 6pm - Run to Safeway for props and whatnot 7pm - Wallflowers call 8pm - Wallflowers Opening Night 10pm - Head home? Whew. Seriously though - I really do love my job. Most everyone who knows me knows that I loooooove to sleep...but I think it's totally worth the lack of sleep to be able to do what I'm doing. And Wallflowers rocks. You all really should come to the show. Please? :)! Oh...shit. I just remembered something vitally important that I completely forgot to do today...Cherisa, I am SO sorry. Oh, geez...I hope you had somewhere to stay, because I completely flaked out on you. I'm such an ass. Fuck. Dammit. I suck. |
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